Unhappy Beginnings

“YOUR STORY may not have such a happy beginning, but that doesn’t make you who you are. It is the rest of your story, who you choose to be…So who are you Panda?” asked the Soothsayer, the aged goat character in Kung Fu Panda 2 whom Po (protagonist) mistook as a male because of her long beard.

            Hearing these inspirational words from the lovely, witty Soothsayer (who’s also an advisor/nanny to the antagonist peacock, Lord Shen) in the scene in which she rescued the injured Po gave me a sudden flashback of the times when I was still a fresh high school grad. As I saw my past unfold before my eyes, I realized that I was like Po, who also had experienced an unhappy beginning. Not because I hadn’t grown up in the care of my biological parents, but because I didn’t have such a happy beginning as far as my college life is concerned.

            Summer after I marched from high school, I was feeling really awesome. I felt empowered, excited and confident of the things I learned from my high school teachers. But at the same time, college life was still a blurry sight in the horizon because first, I didn’t have a firm decision yet on what school to enroll in; and second, I wasn’t able to pass the course choices in the two universities I looked forward to go to: UP and UST.

For the pure love of atoms, matter, energy and laboratory work I had picked BS Chemical Engineering and BS Chemistry as my first and second choices in UP. It came to me that if and when I become a chemical engineer/chemist someday, I would be able to formulate pharmaceutical/dermatological products that would be beneficial to many. I also remembered acing my Chemistry subject back in high school that all the more inspired me to pursue advanced study of matter. But sad to say, I wasn’t good enough to pass UPCAT.

I thought I had another alas in the España-based university in my pursuit of that chemical dream. BS Chemical Engineering was also my first choice in UST, and then BS Accountancy for the second. I considered taking up the latter because we have a tailoring business and would want to professionally manage its balance sheets and income statements. But unfortunately again, I didn’t pass those two courses, and instead was included in the “Academic Placement List.”

Being in that list means an applicant didn’t pass the courses he/she applied for, but still has a chance to be admitted to UST with the degree programs included in the evaluation paper given him/her. Chemistry was already a shattered dream then. And since there was BS Commerce and Business Administration available for me (among Applied Physics, Math, Music, Education and others), I decided to take it up, with a plan to do well throughout the academic year so I could shift easily to Accountancy.

After one school year being a Thomasian, I became a dean’s lister for both semesters and was even one of the students who aced our accounting subject. Well, I did my best. But as the song "Just Once" goes, I guess my best wasn’t good enough. When I went to the AMV-College of Accountancy in UST (Commerce has a separate college), I was almost in tears to see an announcement saying shifters and transferees would no longer be accepted for the next school year. I inquired at the AMV-COA office about it; it’s to accommodate the rising population of accountancy students, with freshmen as top priority. Hell, my heartfelt letter of intent was put to waste.

            I could have continued my Commerce studies, but since I really had this dream of becoming a Certified Public Accountant (CPA), I decided to transfer to another school (despite leaving my friends in UST who have really been close to me). There came San Beda College Alabang (SBCA), the school my parents recommended for me.

I originally applied for BS Accountancy in SBCA. But after learning the result of my entrance test, I had this feeling that this course, for goodness’ sake, is not really meant for me. Again, I wasn’t able to get my desired course, this time due to limited slots. Accountancy and Information Technology courses then were not available anymore—slots were already full (perhaps taking SBCA’s second to the last entrance test became a great factor).

Haay, bad things really come in threes.

But one thing I realized by then was that, I had kept on thinking afar that I turned unmindful of the things just with me at the moment. And since I could take up other courses in SBCA, I decided to take up the course that’s close to my personality and innermost yearnings—BA Communication and Media Studies. From then on, my life has been chock-full of surprises.

Little did I know that I have passion for writing, that I have nice PR skills, that I am a live entertainer, that I have good artistry to edit pictures and videos, that I love journalism. All I must do is to maximize them. Now, I’m glad of what I’ve done so far in my three years as a Bedan. I’m proud to be an active member of the CMS family and an editor for the CAS’ official student paper, The Bedan Herald.

            Everything happens for a reason. I may not be that intelligent enough to pass major college entrance exams in the country or reach the quota set for my then-desired courses, but that doesn’t make me less of a person. Because in my own right, I can be an asset to where I am right now and hence, make my existence matter.

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            Dragon warrior Po used his newfound “inner peace” to achieve a kung fu technique that eventually defeated Lord Shen, who in the end could not still let go of his awful past. Po told Shen: You got to let go of the stuff from past–because it just doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is what you choose to be now. Finally, back in the Valley of Peace, Po (who chose not to be just a big fat panda, but the big fat panda) hugged foster father-goose Mr. Ping and proudly, lovingly and gratefully declared himself as the latter’s son.

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This article was published in The Bedan Herald June 2011 issue under the author's column, "Big Boom Theory".